Readers by Author
Stereotyping People by Their Favorite Author
(by the way – I respect every author on here, kind of)
Kids who don’t fit in (duh).
People who type like this: OMG. Mah fAvvv ❤ <3.
Umphrey’s McGee fans.
Girls who didn’t get enough drama when they were younger.
Girls who can’t read. Or think.
Jonathan Safran Foer
30somethings who were cool when they were 20something.
Your mom when she’s at her time of the month.
Boys who don’t read.
Boys who can’t read.
People I would love to hang out with.
Guys I want to date.
Guys I want to sleep with. (The difference between the two Russian authors lies in the fact that I think the Underground Man is sexier than Pierre Buzukhov).
Christopher Buckley (or William F. Buckley)
People who love excess verbiage.
Workaholics seeking validation.
David Foster Wallace
Confirmed 90’s literati.
Jane Austen (or Bronte Sisters)
Girls who made out with other girls in college when they were going through a “phase”.
People who like good music.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
People who can start a fire.
People who used to sleep so heavy that they would pee their pants.
Ninth graders who think they’re going to be authors someday but end up in marketing.
People who like bondage.
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
People who drink scotch.
People who drink old fashioneds.
People who get their class from Vanity Fair.
People who don’t use conditioner in their hair.
Edgar Allan Poe
Men who live in their mother’s basements. Or goth seventh graders.
Doctors that went to third-tier medical schools.
Doctors that went to medical schools in the Dominican Republic.
People who used to get lost in supermarkets when they were kids.
Guys who are in the third coolest frat of a private college.
Women who give their boyfriend marriage ultimatums.
People whose favorite day in elementary school was “Grandparent’s Day”.
Women whose favorite color is hunter green.
People who are good at crosswords.
Your drunk stepmother.
Women who are usually constipated.
Men that score a 153 on their LSAT exam.
Girls who keep journals (too easy).
Conspiracy theorists (too easy).
People who are bigger conspiracy theorists than Orwell fans.
People that have read only one book in their life and it was To Kill A Mockingbird (and it was their assigned reading in the ninth grade).
Guys who wear skinny jeans and the girls that love them.
Men who own cottages.
F. Scott Fitzgerald
People who get ARM mortgages.
Men who use words like ‘dubious’ and ‘tenacity’.
This will be updated.
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