Harry Doms Edward
REASONS WHY HARRY POTTER IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN TWILIGHT:
1. Edward confesses in the first book that vampires are made to be predators. However, Harry is half muggle and is still awesome at fighting.
2. Twilight thrives on sex. They only have one plot line and it is “Bella is a whiny baby who can’t even walk straight and Edward has to help her” except for the last book which has the plot line of, “Bella and Edward had a freaky baby and a lot of people don’t like it”. Potter, on the other hand, has complex plots – some of which take 8 books to come to fruition. There are hundreds of characters in the Harry Potter novels, as opposed to Twilight’s dozen.
3. Fenrir Greyback could kick any of the Quileute’s asses.
4. Alice is a cheap imitation of Tonks. While they share no magical abilities, they have similar haircuts. Except that Tonks can change her haircut at any time, which pwns Alice’s “subjective” future-seeing pansy ass excuse for a power. Even I could “subjectively” see that Bella was about to get the beat down in every book.
5. Edward sits at night and plays piano. Harry sneaks around Hogwarts and organizes secret armies.
6. Edward’s parents died of Spanish influenza. Harry’s parents died while saving his life from the greatest sorcerer ever (after Dumbledore).
7. A lot of people only read Twilight because they wanted to bone Robert Pattinson. No one wants bone Daniel Radcliffe.
8. Mrs. Weasley is a better cook than Esme Cullen.
9. To kill another vampire, you have to rip his body to pieces and put it in a fire. To kill Voldemort, you had to seek out all 8 Horcuxes and destroy them with something so powerful that it could not repair itself (the sword of Gryffindor). Harry himself was a Horcrux and had to kill himself and then come back from the dead. Edward probably didn’t break a sweat when he tore James apart.
This will likely be updated.