Lauren Leto

Harry Doms Edward

Posted in Uncategorized by Lauren Leto on September 23, 2009


1. Edward confesses in the first book that vampires are made to be predators. However, Harry is half muggle and is still awesome at fighting.

2. Twilight thrives on sex. They only have one plot line and it is “Bella is a whiny baby who can’t even walk straight and Edward has to help her” except for the last book which has the plot line of, “Bella and Edward had a freaky baby and a lot of people don’t like it”. Potter, on the other hand, has complex plots – some of which take 8 books to come to fruition. There are hundreds of characters in the Harry Potter novels, as opposed to Twilight’s dozen.

3. Fenrir Greyback could kick any of the Quileute’s asses.

4. Alice is a cheap imitation of Tonks. While they share no magical abilities, they have similar haircuts. Except that Tonks can change her haircut at any time, which pwns Alice’s “subjective” future-seeing pansy ass excuse for a power. Even I could “subjectively” see that Bella was about to get the beat down in every book.

5. Edward sits at night and plays piano. Harry sneaks around Hogwarts and organizes secret armies.

6. Edward’s parents died of Spanish influenza. Harry’s parents died while saving his life from the greatest sorcerer ever (after Dumbledore).

7. A lot of people only read Twilight because they wanted to bone Robert Pattinson. No one wants bone Daniel Radcliffe.

8. Mrs. Weasley is a better cook than Esme Cullen.

9. To kill another vampire, you have to rip his body to pieces and put it in a fire. To kill Voldemort, you had to seek out all 8 Horcuxes and destroy them with something so powerful that it could not repair itself (the sword of Gryffindor). Harry himself was a Horcrux and had to kill himself and then come back from the dead. Edward probably didn’t break a sweat when he tore James apart.

This will likely be updated.

Tagged with:

5 Responses

Subscribe to comments with RSS.

  1. Barbara said, on September 23, 2009 at 2:01 pm

    Re: Number 7 above – think again. MANY people, women and men, want to “bone” Daniel Radcliffe, trust me. And I don’t have even the faintest interest in having sex Robert Pattinson. He’s a lovely young man and all that, nothing against him–he just does not interest me physically. Otherwise, LOVE your list!

  2. nahlzc said, on September 24, 2009 at 4:32 pm

    YAyyyyy three cheers for this post!

  3. Carol said, on September 24, 2009 at 10:30 pm

    Love your list, however, I have to agree with Barbara on #7. Have you seen any of the more recent photos of Dan? Men do not get any sexier than that! I’m sure there are many people out there who would fancy a go with Rob (I know one who would at least, and it’s not me), but I can name over 300 (including me) right now who would have a go at Dan so fast it would make his head spin!

  4. Older Posts « Lauren Leto said, on December 16, 2009 at 10:08 pm

    […] Harry Doms Edward […]

  5. Yvonne said, on December 23, 2009 at 12:24 am

    harry’s not half muggle!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: